Have you ever found yourself standing in front of the refrigerator or pantry, feeling a deep, insistent craving for something sweet or salty? Or maybe you’ve found yourself reaching for a snack when you’re feeling stressed or anxious, even though you’re not actually hungry. If so, you’re not alone. Many of us struggle with cravings and they can be challenging to manage when you’re trying to develop a healthier relationship with food.
There are many factors that make cravings difficult to manage. One of the most important, and often overlooked, is that we tend to approach them with shame, criticism and a total lack of compassion towards ourselves. But there’s a better way: one that’s focused on understanding where they come from and why we experience them.
What are food cravings?
Food cravings are a common experience for many people, and they can be challenging to manage when trying to develop a healthy relationship with food. Cravings are typically connected to habits, feelings, and our biology. The foods we eat and the emotions we experience can create a brain-based response that leads to cravings. Studies have shown that people who consume processed foods tend to crave those foods due to the sugar and chemicals in them that produce a dopamine effect on our brains.
Cravings typically refer to a desire for a dense, caloric food. That’s the reason why you don’t often hear people say “I’m craving carrots” or “I’m craving blueberries”, but you often hear people they are craving chocolate, or a cookie, a donut, ice cream and so on. In contrast, our body’s desire for “cleaner foods” comes from what our body wants or needs when we are physically hungry. Being mindful of our physical hunger and waiting to eat until we are hungry can help us become more aware of our body’s desires for warm or cold foods, protein-rich foods, or certain textures.
Why are cravings so difficult to manage?
Cravings are typically driven by a combination of factors, including biological, psychological and emotional triggers. Biologically, cravings are linked to our brain’s reward system, which can be activated by certain foods or flavors, particularly those high in sugar, fat or salt. These foods can produce a dopamine release in the brain, which can create feelings of pleasure and satisfaction.
Psychologically, cravings can be triggered by a range of factors including stress, boredom, anxiety, or even social situations. For example, seeing a commercial for a favorite snack food might trigger a craving, or attending a party where everyone is indulging in rich foods might make it harder to resist temptation.
Emotionally, cravings can be linked to how we’re feeling about ourselves and how we relate ourselves to food. Many people use food as a way to cope with negative emotions such as anxiety, depression, boredom or loneliness. This can create a pattern of emotional eating, where food is used as a way to soothe or distract yourself from uncomfortable feelings.
How self-compassion can help with cravings
Self-compassion means turning compassion towards ourselves, treating ourselves with warmth, kindness, and respect. It is a difficult practice because we are most comfortable with our inner critic and treating others with compassion. It can be challenging to treat ourselves as if we are a close friend versus our worst enemy. Many people view self-compassion as giving in or indulging ourselves. However, self-compassion means being forgiving and learning from our actions while encouraging ourselves towards our personal goals and intentions.
When we make a choice that we regret with our food, it is essential to approach this with understanding, curiosity, and compassion. Research indicates that shaming and criticizing ourselves over a long period of time will not sustainably change our habits or behaviors. In fact, the shaming and critical approach to our perceived “mistakes” can often lead to increased episodes of behaviors that we do not want.
How to handle food cravings with self-compassion
The first step towards self-compassion with our food cravings is to accept that we will have them. By becoming more aware of our relationship with food we can become more conscious of our cravings and the reasons behind them. We need to send compassion to the parts of us that crave foods at times. Food can become a metaphor for other cravings that we have, and it is essential to become aware of these underlying feelings and approach them with compassion.
Let’s take a look at an example of this. You are trying to eat foods that are good for your body and on your way to work you stop for a coffee and see a delicious-looking donut. You put it on your order and without even realizing it you’ve eaten it. After eating you might say things like:
- “I shouldn’t have eaten that”
- “I’m weak and I can’t do anything right”
- “I’ve blown it so I can just let myself go today”
- “I’ll try to eat better tomorrow”
- “I’m a failure”
This is the shaming and self-criticism that many of us experience in our relationship to food. But there’s something you might be forgetting to consider. Where is that craving coming from?
The Truth About Cravings
We are constantly feeding our cravings. We do it to a point where we stop being able to tell the difference between a biological and an emotional craving. If we are regularly eating sweets, we are biologically craving them. Sending compassion to the craving for more sweets is ok. Still, if you’d like to reduce cravings, it can be helpful to explore ways to reduce sugar intake. You can take a moment to think about what sweets help you with the moment you eat them. Do this non-judgmentally and with a guide, if needed.
To effectively manage cravings, it’s important to develop a range of coping strategies that address different triggers. This might include strategies such as practicing mindfulness, finding alternative ways to cope with stress or negative emotions, developing healthy eating habits, or seeking support from a therapist or other healthcare provider.
Remember that managing food cravings with self-compassion is a process of becoming aware, accepting, and approaching our cravings with understanding and compassion. By shifting our inner dialogue from self-criticism to self-love, forgiveness, and understanding, we can develop a healthier relationship with food. We can learn to respond to our cravings with curiosity, non-judgmental inquiry, and self-compassion. Through this practice, we can create lasting change in our behaviors and habits, resulting in a healthier relationship with food and ourselves. Self compassion can be a gift we give ourselves every day. It is beautiful loving and helpful.
